Sunday, October 19, 2008

Seperated at Birth: Jon Corzine and Lisa Simpson !

Season 11: "Bart to the Future", we look forward to the year 2030:

Milhouse van Houten: Well, if you just want to out-and-out lie... okay, we could call it a "temporary refund adjustment."

President Lisa Simpson:
I love it.

Milhouse van Houten:
Really? What else do you love, Lisa?

President Lisa Simpson: Fiscal solvency.

Milhouse van Houten (heartbroken): Uh, me too.

Looks like governor Jon Corzine saw that episode, and figured that if Lisa could trick Lenny and Carl, then he could trick the residents of New Jersey into thinking his massive toll hikes are simply...

..... A news release referred to "a toll-adjustment plan." Oh, come on, Governor. The people know a toll hike when they see one. Calling it something else doesn't make it easier to swallow; it just makes it look like you think people are stupid.

How much will the tolls be adjusted? Well, let's look at how much the state is already giving away:

On Friday, the New Jersey Turnpike Authority approved a toll-adjustment plan that dedicates $1.25 billon to the Access to the Region’s Core project...

That's only gonna be a spritz in the bucket of spending, if Corzine really gets the "adjustment" he is looking for:

The toll road plan anticipates $32 billion to $38 billion would be raised through the sale of bonds backed by contractually established toll increases. From 2010 to 2022, tolls would be increased four times. Each increase could be as high as 50 percent, in addition to an inflation adjustment.

After 2022, toll increases would be limited to inflation adjustments and would continue for the duration of the plan, 61 years.

Maybe Jon can call on Bart Simpson to save they day, once his plan goes horribly askew?

Because of America's massive debt, Lisa meets with the countries to whom money is owed. This does not go well, until Bart shows up and uses his skills at stalling debt collectors to save the day...

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