If an Eco-Nazi married a Health Czar....

...their baby would look something like this...from New York City, of course:

An environmental panel is telling the city to step it up by opening stairwells in all buildings, both public and private, to help New Yorkers stave off gaining a total of 550,000 pounds each year, according to a report released yesterday.

"At a broad level, 'green building' is about rethinking how buildings function. We don't want them to make us unhealthy," said Russell Unger, who chaired the task force.

"Buildings are actually very important to the amount of exercise we do, and over the past century, fossil fuels [and technology] have replaced human power. Where we once walked up stairs, we now take an elevator.

Yes, ingenuity and technological progress are really a curse, don't you know - fortunately, we have our liberal betters to explain that to us, and why we would be so much happier schlepping up a dozen flights of stairs to work every morning (and after lunch, and after each meeting...)

While stair climbing would combat obesity -- helping to prevent 18 percent of the city's average annual weight gain -- decreased elevator trips would also reduce electrical usage, the report says.

Can you see the Eco-Nazi and the Health Czar high-fiving each other with glee after releasing that statement? Seems as if the more these liberal control freaks fall out of favor, the more outlandish their schemes for "improving" our lives are...


We're living in an episode of the Simpsons, BTW -specifically, They Saved Lisa's Brain, in which Lisa bands together with Springfield's other Mensa members to try to turn the town into a utopia. But they discover that genius doesn't always know what it's doing....

Lindsey: For example, no one was showing up for jury duty, so we made the experience more exciting by synergizing it with his comic book collection.
[cut to Moe's tavern. Moe opens an envelope]
Moe: [reading] You have been chosen to join the Justice Squadron, 8 a.m. Monday at the Municipal Fortress of Vengeance. Oh, I am *so* there.

More of the same...is the DOT taking notes?

Frink: We studied the traffic patterns and found that drivers move the fastest through yellow lights. So now, we just have the red and yellow lights.

Barack Obama, Comic Book Guy, Professor Frink, and the Democratic party...all peas in a pod...