Tuesday, May 27, 2008

"Look ! It's Governor Corzine...!"

First words out of my mouth when I saw this slimy SOB crossing my line at the 'ol fishin' hole:

Jim at the Parkway Rest Stop has made clear - with good humor - his personal disdain for gators. Me, I hate almost all reptiles. Peer at them, and they size you up with only one "thought" in their prehistoric minds: Can I eat you? And if they feel as if they can, they make their move...

The fellow above is the New Jersey's infamous Northern Water Snake, and it seems like he may be getting close to the four-foot limit the species usually reaches...

So eventually, little Corzine decides to head for shore, and curls up pondside right at my feet, and rests his head on a stray leaf. I was in no mood for reptilian company, so I pounded on the ground hard, knowing that snakes are more sensitive to vibration than noise.

So what does the SOB do? He recoils a few inches, sure, but instead of fleeing, he arches up an additional six inches out of the water, hoods his head, and hisses at me.

Right out of the fieldbook:

The water snake can exhibit a mean disposition and can inflict a painful, nonvenomous bite if handled.

So eventually we reached a detante, and little Jon slithered away, no doubt looking for the stray sunfish. Meanwhile, I ran smack into Senator Robert Menendez!

Who'd have thunk it?


Erica said...

Hysterical. If I saw a big, hairy, ugly boar with those nasty tusks and snorty flat proboscis, I'd probably say "Look! Al Sharpton!"

It's weird...I'm terrified of most bugs - roaches, waterbugs, palmettos, bees - and yet a few weeks ago I got to hold a snake, whose circumference at the center of its body was probably fatter than a can of Campbell's soup, and that shit could squeeze, too, and I was totally cool with that.

BTW, WTF is that thing on the bottom...it's vile!

The JerseyNut said...

Hi Erica!

That "thing" (aptly put) on the bottom is a big fat catfish. He lives at the bottom of the pond, swimming on his belly through the mud and slime, feeding on the foodstuffs that filter down to him...

A good analogy, I thought!

Anonymous said...

Dude, that analogy is SO apt!
Catfish are the ultimate mudpluggers, not unlike their spiritual cousin, the New Jersey Democrat!