Monday, November 27, 2006

Where's my freakin' "global warming" already ??

Drudge provides us with a variety of links for which we can delve into in order to mock the most ridiculous pseudo-scientific theory of all time, the so-called "global warming" phenomenon:

With cataclysmic predictions that hurricanes would swarm from the tropics like termites, no one thought 2006 would be the most tranquil season in a decade.
As they say about the stock market: Past results are no indication of future performance.

9: The number of named storms this year
17: The number of named storms predicted May 31 by a team at Colorado State University led by Professor William Gray
45 mph: The wind speed when Tropical Storm Alberto hit the Florida Panhandle near Adams Beach on June 13, the strongest winds over Florida all season

56 percent: The average homeowner rate increase Citizens Property Insurance Corp. requested even after no hurricanes struck Florida
27 percent: The Citizens rate increase approved to start Jan. 1

0: The number of storms that formed in October, the first time since 2002 that no storms formed that month. Also, no Category 4 or 5 storms formed this year for the first time since 1997.

And as they say on those late night TV infomercials..."But wait! There's more! "

March 20, 2006 - The northeast U.S. coast could be the target of a major hurricane, perhaps as early as this season, according to research announced today by the Hurricane Center.

"The Northeast is staring down the barrel of a gun," said Joe Bastardi, Chief Forecaster of the Hurricane Center..."Determination of where we are in the cycle has enabled meteorologists to accurately predict hurricane activity in Florida in 2004 and along the Gulf Coast last year. There are indications that the Northeast will experience a hurricane larger and more powerful than anything that region has seen in a long time."

Er, Mr. Chief Forecaster? Do you have a flippin' clue what you are talking about? Or were you just afraid to buck the doomsayers of global warming? And how do you feel about the fact that know-nothing predictions like yours helped raise the rates of Florida homeowners insurance by 27% ?

Bastardi, again, threatens the economy more than any carbon-fueled superstorm:

May 15, 2006- The Hurricane Center, led by Chief Forecaster Joe Bastardi, today released its 2006 hurricane season forecast. An active hurricane season appears imminent, which could have major repercussions for the U.S. economy and the one in six Americans who live on the Eastern Seaboard or along the western Gulf of Mexico.

"The 2006 season will be a creeping threat," said Bastardi...

"There are few areas of the U.S. East Coast and Gulf of Mexico that will not be in the bull's eye at some point this season," said Ken Reeves, AccuWeather's Director of Forecast Operations...

Geez, these guys suck - I'll think fondly of you idiots every time I hear an AccuWeather Report, and then I'll change the station...

Finally, from the
Washington Times:

May 29, 2006 - Al Gore's new movie on global warming, "An Inconvenient Truth," opens with scenes from Hurricane Katrina slamming into New Orleans. The former vice president says unequivocally that because of global warming, it is all but certain that future hurricanes will be more violent and destructive than those in the past.

With the official start of hurricane season days away, meteorologists are unanimous that the 2006 tropical storm season, which runs from June 1 through November, is likely to be a doozy...

Whoa! Hold on a second! These meteorologists are "unanimous"! Al Gore is "unequivocal"! Global warming must be an established scientific fact! How dare anyone contradict their great knowledge and wisdom! The only ones who scorn encroaching global warming are the neocons and their jack-booted right-wing religious thugs!

So where was the devestating hurricane season of 2006? Did George Bush and Dick Cheny turn off the weather manipulation machine stashed in the Artic Circle? Or could it be possible that even in unamity, scientists (or, perish the thought, the media) could be wrong ?

Remember, a flat earth of which the whole of the universe revolved around was once accepted scientific fact as well...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Nicely said