Saturday, May 01, 2010

Has Obama Been Cheating On Michelle?

OK, it's the National Inquirer, and we all know that they're just a scandal rag, right? Remember when they made up that whole story about John Edwards and Rielle Hunter and a love child? So false, because a guy like Edwards would never cheat on his cancer-stricken wife while using her as proof of his superior compassion! That would be...well, wait...that would be....true.

So let's give fair consideration to
this report from the Inquirer:

President Obama has been caught in a shocking cheating scandal after being caught in a Washington, DC Hotel with a former campaign aide, sources say.

And now, a hush-hush security video that shows everything could topple both Obama's presidency and marriage to Michelle!

A confidential investigation has learned that Obama first became close to gorgeous 35 year-old VERA BAKER in 2004 when she worked tirelessly to get him elected to the US Senate, raising millions in campaign contributions.

While Baker has insisted in the past that "nothing happened" between them, the ENQUIRER has learned that top anti-Obama operatives are offering more than $1 million to witnesses to reveal what they know about the alleged hush-hush affair.

Among those being offered money is a limo driver who says that he took Vera to a secret hotel rendezvous where the President was staying.

A top DC source told The ENQUIRER exclusively that the driver's account had been independently corroborated by investigators who believe the couple spent the night together at the hotel.

The ENQUIRER has also learned that on-site hotel surveillance video camera footage could provide indisputable evidence.

"Investigators are attempting to obtain a tape from the hotel (that) shows Vera and Barack together," the DC insider confided.

"If the tape surfaces, it will explode the scandal."

If true, would this ruin Obama's presidency? Not a chance. If Bill Clinton could engage in sex acts in the Oval Office and have the entire liberal/media establishment jump to his defense, imagine the rush to the battlements should this president be caught with his golf pants down. In fact, a Barack Obama sex tape would probably become part and parcel of every liberal porno collector's stash from the Beltway to Broadway, and proudly shown at Democratic fund raisers ("ooh, have you ever seen a more perfect, vibrant, intelligent lover?") while being embedded in the Organizing for America's web site.

Why do I think this story is true? Because men of power feel they are entitled to multiple lovers (see Woods, Tiger), that they can never be caught (see Spitzer, Elliot), and they multiple lovers are just another perk of a government job.

Would Michelle leave him? Not a chance. She, like Hillary, has her own future tied up with her man's, and no amount of personal humiliation will curb her ambitions.

Well, this is what you get, when you dismiss serious thinkers and elect a rock star as president...

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