Flop Of The Week: Rosie O'Donnell

How could I let so many days go by without mocking the spectacular failure of fat blowhard Rosie O'Donnell in her attempt to produce a modern version of the once-ubiquitous television variety show? Mock, I must!

First the facts:

The network's attempt to revive the primetime variety show failed to draw an audience Wednesday night, tying for the evening's lowest-rated program. A mere 5 million viewers tuned in for the 8 p.m. premiere of "Rosie Live," with the program earning a 1.2 preliminary adults 18-49 rating. The telecast matched ABC's recently canceled "Pushing Daisies" as the night's lowest-rated program on a major broadcast network. NBC had high hopes for the special and planned to expand the program into a series should viewers re-embrace the decades-old variety format.

Now some commentary, same link:

Gee, let's give a show to an obnoxious, unattractive lesbian, and then when it flops, we'll blame the format.

More commentary, from TV Guide:

If the TV variety format weren't already dead, the ghastly ego trip of NBC's Thanksgiving-eve turkey Rosie Live would surely have killed it. Like the pie Alec Baldwin predictably pushed into Conan O'Brien's face that fell to the floor without sticking, the entire hour landed with a sickening, sad, ill-conceived thud. It felt like an off night at America's Got Talent, bookended by wobbly appearances from Liza Minnelli and Gloria Estefan, each forced to perform with the caterwauling host, Rosie O'Donnell.

Well, it's about time someone besides political bloggers called out Rosie for "caterwauling"; 'cause she's certainly been screeching for a while now:

You know [President Bush] invaded a sovereign nation [Iraq] in defiance of the U.N. He is basically a war criminal! He should be tried in the Hague!

Don't fear the terrorists. They’re mothers and fathers."

Rosie on 9/11: ...I do believe it's the first time in history that fire has melted steel...

Rosie On Christianity: Radical Christianity is just as threatening as radical Islam in a country like America.

And maybe it's not just her ugly anti-Americanism that has forced the nation to avert their eyes from the rotound Ms. O'Donnell, but her purile behavior as well:

...Rosie's chief writer, Janette Barber, was allegedly escorted from the building after she was caught drawing moustaches on photographs of Hasselbeck that hang in the "View" studios.
There were also rumors O'Donnell was so angry after her argument with Hasselbeck that she trashed her dressing room....

Now then, it is agreed - there are plenty of reasons to hate Rosie O'Donnell, but no reasons to give up on the variety show format. Look how well it can be done, when executed properly:




Finally - here's the best news we heard all day:

Her [Rosie's] variety show Wednesday evening was such a flop that she not only believes it won't be picked up for additional installments, but she is also thinking "maybe just me on tv is done."

From your mouth to God's ears, Rosie...