Saturday, November 06, 2010

NFL Picks, Conservative-Style!

Sick of all those non-political media columnists - television critics, movie critics, lifestyle reviews, theatre-goers, sports analysis - sticking snarky pro-liberal/conservative-bashing witticisms into their commentary that usually falls as flat as a lead balloon?

Well, here's a breath of fresh air - The New York Post's (the conservative daily of record, thank you very much) football handicapper, known as "Hondo", makes his picks for tomorrow's NFL action, and turns the table on the left-wing noise machine that has for so long permeated the dailies.

Here are some of his calls - bereft of actual football rationale, but with enough conservative snark to fill the soul of any football-loving conservative this Sunday:

Bears over Bills: If you’re wondering why Obama seemed so down at Wednesday’s press conference, it was probably because Tuesday’s message from the voters came through loud and clear: You’re next, big guy!

Chargers over Texans: Condolences to Keith “Gasbag” Olbermann (aka Uberdork) and the rest of the Democrat bobbleheads who were anchoring MSNBC’s election coverage Tuesday. Clearly, the Crats’ loss of the House, as well as the network getting smoked in the ratings by Fox, indicates a lack of both influence and relevance. For the love of God, somebody pull the plug on that mess.

Gasbag Olbermann caved in and decided to drop his “Worst Persons of the World” segment after getting spanked by Jon Stewart last Saturday. That’s too bad. It was so much fun for the few viewers he has left to decide what order his nightly three choices would be: Limbaugh, O’Reilly and Palin; or Palin, Limbaugh and O’Reilly; or O’Reilly, Palin and Limbaugh . . .

Saints over Panthers: The most distressing news that came out on election night may have come from Carl Paladino, who, in the wake of his drubbing by Cuomo, announced: “You have not heard the last of Carl Paladino.”

Colts over Eagles: Actor Zach Galifianakis fired up a joint on Bill Maher’s show last week. Tune in this week, maybe Maher can get Charlie Sheen and some hookers to free-base some cocaine.

Speaking of Charlie, BarkingMut says Sheen has a spinoff of his current show in development. It’ll be called “Two And A Half Grams.”

Charlie filed for divorce from Brooke Muller. What a shame. Christmas just won’t be the same for Brooke without Charlie jumping on top of her and holding a knife to her throat.

Bengals over Steelers: Mel Gibson dressed up as a hobo on Halloween, which was a bit of a surprise. Most would have guessed Mad Mel would have gone for a more Nazi-ish look.

Not buying all of Hondo's picks here, although he is one of the Post's best handicappers. I'll take the right-wing snark, though, all day long.

Payback's a bitch...

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