Friday, June 04, 2010

Gulf Oil Spill Conspiracy: Creating Jobs For Obama?

OK, so we all know Barack Obama was complicit in destroying the BP Deepwater Horizon drilling rig, in order to create the perfect "out clause" for his previous decision to expand the amount of people allowed to consider thinking about possibly drilling for oil some day far in the future , far off the coastline.

Show compromise and the strength to piss off the environmentalists, then, after the accident, thoughtfully rebuke your earlier position and return to your liberal roots, thus pleasing your base and leaving a bi-partisan after-image on a strictly partisan attack...

But here's an additional political bonus that this horrible oil-spill "incident" provides to Barack Obama that I hadn't considered before: the fact that a disaster like this would actually help create jobs:

Employment in support activities for the mining industry was up 3 percent in the month, or 8,000 workers on top of a 5,000 job gain last month. Given the otherwise flat performance of this sector prior to the start of the spill in April, it is safe to assume that much of these jobs are being created to clean up the mess. So, it could be that as much as 20 percent of the net private sector job creation in May was due to the oil spill.

You know, Barack Obama would have gotten away with this entire subterfuge, if he didn't just assume that the private sector would just pick up the slack, and "plug the damn leak" (another instance of his complete cluelessness about the free market - he just assumed there would be a solution, via BP or government, and if there wasn't one, he could bully it out of wherever it was hiding). But the oil keeps on flowing, and flowing, and Obama's brilliant plan is collapsing before his eyes...

But based on the above job numbers, maybe it is time for Barack to come clean. Admit that he had the damn rig blown up. Admit that he did it as a public service, to wean us away from oil. Then apologize, tearfully, while defiantly pointing out that his actions did not just create government jobs, but also 20% of the private sector employment growth for the month of May. Like a jobs god, he is....

The media would fall over themselves, praising his genius, his honesty, his humility. The Europeans would award him yet another Nobel Prize. And Congress could write legislation legalizing the destruction of "x" amount of oil wells per month, in order to help stimulate the economy. Make it legal - ex post facto, of course....

So Barack, what are you waiting for? The time to unmask the Great Gulf Oil Spill Conspiracy is now, before you start choking in the black goo, and no one can hear you scream...


(More on this vile conspiracy here, here, here, over here, and here, you should definitely read this, and this is somewhat related as well...)

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