Sounds crazy, I know, and Dick Durbin is crazy, I know (well, more stupid than crazy, but still), but maybe a "crap czar" wouldn't be all that bad. Because there are truckloads of crap in Washington DC, and maybe we do need some oversight in getting it all carted out:
Durbin asks Obama to appoint carp czar
As concerns mount about the presence of Asian carp near Lake Michigan, U.S. Sen. Dick Durbin today urged President Obama to appoint a carp czar to oversee efforts to keep the invasive species out of the Great Lakes.
"We need to have one person who coordinates the efforts of the federal, state and local agencies that are doing everything they can to keep the Asian carp out of Lake Michigan," Durbin said during a news conference at the Shedd Aquarium. "We believe it's absolutely essential."
Durbin said he plans to introduce a bill next week that will ask the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers to look at "hydrologic separation" between the Great Lakes and the Mississippi River, a potentially massive engineering feat that would require severing the 100-year-old, man-made shipping corridors that now link the two waterways.
Oh...my mistake. Sorry. How embarrassing. He wants a CARP Czar, not a CRAP Czar! Understandable mistake - really, is there any difference between Durbin's proposal and mine?
Well, if there were a "crap czar", hopefully the first thing he would take aim at is a certain dull-witted Senator's request for a "massive engineering feat" that would require "massive taxpayer funding" in order to prevent a few crappy carp from apparently walking from one lake to the next.
Maybe a few dedicated fishermen could get the job done instead?
Oh Crap Czar, where are you?