Well, if I may clarify - a "vacation junkie"? Why not? What else would you call someone who has selfish desires they are beholden to, which control their actions (in defiance of common sense), and will steal from other people in order to fulfill them?
That's our Michelle, the bestest First Lady ever, if you were to believe the media. Well, not the British media, which goes where the American press fears to tread:
The Obamas' summer break in Martha's Vineyard has already been branded a PR disaster after the couple arrived four hours apart on separate government jets.
But according to new reports, this is the least of their extravagances.
White House sources today claimed that the First Lady has spent $10 million of U.S. taxpayers' money on vacations alone in the past year.
Branding her 'disgusting' and 'a vacation junkie', they say the 47-year-old mother-of-two has been indulging in five-star hotels, where she splashes out on expensive massages and alcohol.
'When it's all added up, she's spent more than $10 million in taxpayers' money on her vacations.'
The First Lady is believed to have taken 42 days of holiday in the past year, including a $375,000 break in Spain and a four-day ski trip to Vail, Colorado, where she spent $2,000 a night on a suite at the Sebastian hotel.
The source continued: 'Michelle also enjoys drinking expensive booze during her trips. She favours martinis with top-shelf vodka and has a taste for rich sparking wines.
'The vacations are totally Michelle's idea. She's like a junkie. She can't schedule enough getaways, and she lives from one to the next - all the while sticking it to hardworking Americans.'
While the President and his wife do pay for some of their personal expenses from their own pocket, the website whitehousedossier.com says that the amount paid by the couple is 'dwarfed by the overall cost to the public'.
The magazine also reported that Mrs Obama, whose fashion choices are widely followed, had been going on 'wild shopping sprees', much to the distress of her husband, who, its sources reveal, is 'absolutely furious' at his wife's 'out-of-control spending'.
Well, if the president was more of a man and less of a bitch, he might be able to control his wife. But reflecting on what he allows his junkie woman to get away with, is it any surprise Barack allows the Democrats in Congress to essentially do the same thing?
And how do you think the Chinese, the Russians, the Iranians, and the Palestinians are sizing up the man who cannot even stand up to his female partner? I can almost hear the multicultural snickering as plans for our demise are being laid, while the president fuels his wife's uncontrollable desires with both his own, and the nation's, ever-shrinking wealth...