Monday, June 13, 2011

The Ferris Bueller Curse: Was Charlie Sheen's Demise Pre-Ordained?

What Ferris Bueller curse, you ask?  Well, obsessed principal Mr. Rooney (Jeffery Jones) turns out to be a real-life pedophile , Jennifer Grey destroyed her looks and her career with a botched nose job , and Matthew Broderick got married to Sarah Jessica Parker.  enough for you?

And yet, that's not the worst of it.  Who can forget Charlie Sheen's small but significant role as "the drug addict" who sets Jennifer Grey straight in the station house?

Sheen: Drugs?
Grey:  Thank you, no, I'm straight.
Sheen:  I meant, are you in here for drugs?
Grey: Why are you here?
Sheen: Drugs

Sheen:  You wear too much eye makeup.  My sister wears too much.  People thinks she's a whore...





Who would have thought that Charlie Sheen would in fact become the character he played all those years ago, known simply as "the drug addict at the police station"?

On this, the 25th anniversary of the theatrical release of Ferris Bueller, one might be wise to listen to the Word as given by Ferris:

-Anything is peaceful from one thousand, three hundred and fifty-three feet.
-I do have a test today, that wasn't bullshit. It's on European socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not European. I don't plan on being European. So who gives a crap if they're socialists? They could be fascist anarchists, it still doesn't change the fact that I don't own a car.
-Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it
 
And while you are contemplating that wisdom, let's meditate a moment on the Ferris Bueller curse.  Could it have been caused by, perhaps, certain things left out of the movie?

FERRIS: My uncle went to Canada to protest the war, right? On the Fourth of July he was down with my aunt and he got drunk and told my Dad he felt guilty he didn’t fight in VietNam. So I said, “What’s the deal, Uncle Jeff? In wartime you want to be a pacifist and in peacetime you want to be a soldier. It took you twenty years to find out you don’t believe in anything?” [snaps his fingers] Grounded. Just like that. Two weeks. [pause] Be careful when you deal with old hippies. They can be real touchy.

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