Sunday, May 31, 2009

Kim Jong Il: Nuclear Terrorist, AND the World's Greatest Golfer?

Now, we hear all the time that North Korea's Kim Jong II is a despot, a terrorist, a tyrant, a know, all the names conservatives like to call misunderstood indivduals who turn a nation into a concentration camp.

But maybe the liberals have a point here; after all, perhaps if Kim Jong got more respect and attention for his real talents, he wouldn't be threatening the world with nuclear war.

What talents are those, you may ask? Why, apparently, he is the greatest golfer in the world. No, really. Well, if you believe Kim's media apparatus, anyway...from Phil Mushnick:

It was in 2003 that North Korea's state-controlled news agency reported that Kim had played his first round of golf, finishing the 18 holes at 38 under par, which stands to reason given the 11 holes-in-one he made. Not bad for a beginner.

The same news organization reported that "Dear Leader" typically has several holes-in-one every round he plays. Yeah, well he's streaky that way.

North Korea at the time had only one course, a par-72 that played very long, 7,700 yards. So Kim, then 61, on that first day he played, routinely aced a few par fours and perhaps even a par five, to finish with a 38-under 34, or roughly 30 strokes better than the best pros on their best day.

The World Tribune dutifully reported:

If the official government media is to be believed, Kim is easily the greatest golfer the world has ever seen.

Seem like the North Korean media is trying a bit too hard? Well, how about the American media's reporting on Barack and Michelle ("let them eat $540 sneakers") Obama's recent six-figure date in New York City:

As the motorcade left the West Village and drove up Sixth Avenue to the theater, crowds of people, at times about eight deep, gathered on the sidewalks of the blockaded streets to wave as the Obamas passed. Some cheered. Cab drivers opened their doors and stood on the frames of their taxis to glimpse the president and first lady.

The Obamas left the theater after the play and were greeted by more cheers from enthusiastic bystanders along New York streets as they headed back for the flight to Washington.

If I may paraphrase:

"If the official government media is to be believed, Barack Obama is easily the most popular president the United States has ever seen... "

No comments: