Wednesday, January 09, 2013

Let's Take Bets: What Will Prevent Hillary From Testifying On Benghazi On January 22nd?

Hot Air:

Senator Bob Corker (R-TN) announced that Hillary Clinton would finally testify about the deadly terrorist attack on our consulate in Benghazi, with the retiring Secretary of State “anxious” to talk to Congress about what she knows.

“I had some very good conversations with her chief of staff,” Corker told Mitchell. “My sense is, her hearing probably will take place the morning of the 22nd.”

And my sense is she will not, unless she feels that enough smoke is being popped on other issues (gun control, fiscal cliffs) that she can snake through the hearings on her belly, unscathed.

Most likely, the media will paint her "comeback" from her mysterious illnesses as a heart-warming story, thus making any Republican attacks on her heinous record appear to be cruel, thoughtless, and anti-women (of course).

But should attention refocus on her actual  testimony,  I predict she will come down with any one of the following Congress-cancelling diseases, maladies, and oddities:

Whooping cough
Mumps (most believable - see right)
Itchy Vagina Syndrome
Kuru (aka Laughing Sickness)
Incurable Hiccups
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
Restless Leg Syndrome
Yeast infection
"Brain Tumor Part II:  The Sequel"

My money is on the last one.  Or  - just to make sure no one dares to talk about it - I wouldn't rule out a case of  IVS...


LibertyAtStake said...

Bill goes AWOL and she leads a search party. Bill is found in the embrace of Lady Gaga, but too late for her to make the briefing.

Anonymous said...

Bill Clinton was asked "How is Hillary's head?" He responds, "Not as good as Monicas."

The JerseyNut said...

Actually, "Mad Cow Disease" would explain a lot...

Anonymous said...

Seems as if she's already suffered from that flesh-eating bacteria thing.