Gulf Oil Spill Conspiracy: Oily Sands Forever?

GULF SHORES, Ala. – A problem lurks under the sand on the Gulf Coast, but some argue the best thing to do is — nothing.

Walk to a seemingly pristine patch of sand, plop down in a chair and start digging with your bare feet and chances are you'll walk away with gooey tar between your toes. So far, workers hired by BP to clean oil off beaches have skimmed only the surface, using shovels or sifting machines.

Think back to Hurricane Katrina, and the demands that the city of New Orleans be rebuilt exactly as it was, regardless of cost, despite the fact that various portions of it were almost certain to be destroyed again the next time a big blow came through the Gulf. No, it had to be put back together again exactly as it was, lest you be fingered as a racist and hung from the nearest lamp-post.

What's different today? The fact that a Democrat is in charge of an inept cleanup mission? The fact that more whites will be suffering than blacks? Or the fact that more conservatives will be suffering than liberals?

Either way, can you imagine if beaches enjoyed by primarily minority populations were deemed to be useable despite the fact that they would leave tracking footprints of petroleum, tar, and oil?

It would be an outrage. Except it isn't, this time. It is "science":

George Crozier, a marine scientist and director of the Dauphin Island Sea Lab, said tourism's the only real reason to dig up the buried oil.

"Buried is buried. It will get carved up by a hurricane at some point, but I see no particular advantage to digging it up," he said. "It's a human environmental hazard only because people don't want to go to the beach if it's got tar balls on it."

So the residents of the Gulf will have lost their entire tourism trade, their fishing-based economy will be decimated, and their personal recreation space will have been destroyed. And that, apparently, is OK with the president (who hasn't mentioned the very spill he called a "top priority" in nine days and counting) and with the media, who has no sympathy for red-staters. Or white folks. Or anybody who can do anything to bring down their Dear Leader, flawed thought he may be.

And a catastrophe that was completely avoidable will wind up poisoning the Gulf for a generation, while the commander-in chief wages war against Arizona (yet another red state), in the hopes of distracting the populace from the disaster of his own creating.

He truly believes he can get away with this - especially with a compliant media's dogged support.

"Can Obama walk on water?", a starry-eyed media used to ask. The question now is...can Barack skate on slicks? For if he can't, the bad brown goo is gonna gobble him up too...