Gulf Coast Oil Spill Conspiracy: Muzzling the Media, and Finding a Scapegoat

As the oil slick spreads wider and shows no sign of abating, the Obama administration is panicking. What seemed like an easy way to revoke earlier initiatives on offshore drilling and direct more taxpayer dollars towards favored "green" emery alternatives is backfiring as the attention of the press and the people is now focused on Obama and his hand-picked geniuses.

Will the conspiracy fall apart? Not if the Obami can help it. The first step is to muzzle the press and prevent them from asking pesky questions. Via their Twitter feed:

That the WH called reporters into the press office privately today to criticize them for asking about BP over & over is disturbing 4:19 PM May 21st via web ~ WestWingReport

The second step is to find a scapegoat:

The oil mass continues moving west, and as the toxic sludge begins to make landfall in Terrebonne, Capt. Edwin Stanton, who heads up the Coast Guard's response, is taking blame. "The governor is right. It's too slow, and if it's anybody's fault, it's mine, for not pushing (BP) hard enough perhaps,” Stanton said.

Then, in an exchange with a reporter, he went further. Stanton: "It’s my job to direct this response in Louisiana.”

Reporter: “Why didn’t you do it?”
Stanton: “Well, the why -- is that really important?”
Reporter: “Yes sir, we live here.”
Stanton: “Well, I guess I'm just slow and dumb."

Stanton must follow the orders of his Commander-in-Chief and fall on his sword, and like a good soldier he will do so, but you can almost hear the strain in his voice and see the tears in his eyes...

And finally, while the White House threatens the press and points decorated officers towards the plank, it gets down to the real business behind the scenes...looting even more money from the American taxpayer:

Congress is getting ready to quadruple to 32 cents a barrel a tax on oil used to help finance cleanups. The increase would raise nearly $11 billion over the next decade....

...from ordinary Americans, of course. And will the money be kept in an "oil spill kitty", or be used to fund the first welfare program that start to flail, like, say, Obamacare? Gee, that's a tough one...

Well, the conspiracy is falling apart, but if the press stays cowed, no one will be the wiser, and offshore drilling will become a think of the past in exchange for magic carpets and flying unicorns, and within the next few weeks, gasoline will skyrocket as Congress pockets the cash, leaving the average citizen even more strapped than he/she was before BP's rig mysteriously blew...

But the government will be in better shape, financially and ideologically, than they were previously. And really, wasn't that the only goal here? Obama is sweating this scam out, but he still can smell victory right around the corner...